Monday, June 7, 2021

Aiming for fame on TikTok

I may never be TikTok famous, but is moderately well-known too much to hope for?

A few weeks ago, I made and posted my first TikTok video. It is an 18-second clip of my daughter trying to use her foot to open the automatic liftgate on her car.

The operative word is “trying.” She repeatedly swipes her foot under the bumper with no effect.

Cut to her staring at the vehicle, trying to puzzle it out. Then one more swipe. Victory!

My daughter has been making and posting videos on TikTok for several months. She does it mostly as a way to relax.

She’s also a licensed physical therapist with a doctoral degree, so it’s not like she sits at home all day making videos. Not that there would be anything wrong with that if it made her happy, a supportive dad notes. Just saying.

Her videos frequently feature her golden retriever, Remington, “commenting” on the world, eating bananas, or just being a good dog. One, about scraping the label off an empty candle jar, has millions of views.

My TikTok originated as a goof. She was just so excited about the liftgate that when it didn’t work, I started filming her frustration.

“I’m going to make this into a TikTok!” I vowed.

Given my antipathy toward the site, my announcement was met with skepticism. My wife, accustomed to my sincere but short-lived schemes, said nothing. My daughter rolled her eyes.

I don’t know what draws people to TikTok. Mostly, it’s just amateur videos set to the same half-dozen songs. One is “Savage Love” by Jason Derulo. Another is the “Happy Dog Song,'' created by a TikTok user. Ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

I have a TikTok account, where I follow exactly one person. You can guess who it is.

Otherwise, I am content to occasionally look over my wife’s shoulder as she burrows down the TikTok rabbithole. One video by somebody who loves Trump. Another video by somebody who hates Trump. Hundreds of dog and cat videos. “Tips from the ER,” where the narrator lobs F-bombs while teaching viewers to avoid medical mishaps. (Pro Tip: Don’t drink to excess, or ask “I wonder what would happen if …?” Both are gateway drugs to the emergency room.)

I was determined to join this digital menagerie. Loading the raw video was pretty easy. Pairing the images to an appropriate song was also simple. I did have to enlist the help of a student with titles at the bottom of the video.

Then I posted, sent a link to my wife, daughter and son-in-law, and promptly forgot about it.

A few days later, my daughter called to tell me the clip had been watched 70,000 times. Currently, the video has 123,600 views, hardly viral but a modest success by TikTok standards. I’ve also had 46 comments, mostly about how cute my daughter’s shoes are. Several commenters said they’ve ordered a pair.

By way of comparison, I doubt that I have ever had a column viewed by 123,600 readers, and I’ve been writing for almost 20 years. Nor has any one piece garnered 46 comments.

And so it goes.

Despite my beginner’s luck, I doubt that I will transition to full-time TikTok production anytime soon. It might be better to be a one-hit wonder, go out on top, burn out instead of rust, quit while ahead and various other cliches.

But then, speaking of cliches, I wonder if lightning could strike twice. Maybe a video of my wife making potato salad or the dog barking at a would-be murderer (aka the Amazon driver) would boost me into the social-media stratosphere.

After all, I’ve always wanted to be the TikTok of the town.

chris.schillig@yahoo.com

@cschillig on Twitter

@chrisschillig on TikTok

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