This column slaps

I learned a new meaning for an old word recently.

Not surprisingly, I must credit my students, who keep me contemporary even as they marvel at how linguistically inept I am for a guy who teaches English.

In class last week, a student said that a particular appetizer at Applebee’s “slaps.” A few other students agreed.

Rather than feign understanding (as I often do when confronted with shifting youth lexicon), I confessed my confusion. Was the appetizer too spicy? Too expensive?

“No, Mr. Schillig, it just means it was ... you know, good,” the student clarified.

“Really good,” another student chimed in.

“So if this class slaps, that’s a compliment?” I wondered.

Students weren’t ready to make a judgment about the course, especially to the person who grades them, although a few did roll their eyes at the out-of-touch bald geezer using a word reserved for people under 18.

I then asked if it was acceptable to say that something — a song, a book or a movie, maybe — was “slapping”? Would several enjoyable things lumped together, like dinner and dancing, “slap,” or did it always have to be “slaps”?

They assured me “slapping” was OK, and that two things “slap.” I told them I would try to be less tragically unhip and incorporate the word into my lexicon, maybe telling my wife that the next meal she makes “slaps.”

Before using my new compliment, however, I did a deep dive — well, maybe more of a shallow swim — through the etymology. I didn’t want to throw around a word with unsavory connotations.

The online Urban Dictionary notes “slaps” means “good as (an Anglo-Saxon word for intimacy that is inappropriate for a family newspaper).” So the term is already on shaky ground for the next staff meeting or the Thanksgiving dinner table: “This sales report is slapping, Jorge!” or “This gravy slaps, Grandma!”

As “slap,” the word is centered on music and music systems. It can refer to “tight music, something you can go dumb to.” This definition sent me scuttling to find definitions for “tight” and “going dumb,” both of which are positive in this context.

As “slapping,” the word can be applied specifically to playing loud music from a car. So “Beethoven’s Fifth was really slapping from those factory-installed speakers in your 1977 Nova” would be something that one could theoretically say, although probably wouldn’t.

An interesting aside involves SLAP, all caps, which is internet slang for “sounds like a plan.” When you text a neighbor to ask that his semi-feral cat pretty please stop fertilizing your flower beds, and he responds with SLAP, you can rest assured that the problem is solved.

Until the cat does it again, that is.

This discussion and my research remind me English is a living language, and changes come quickly. Some stick, some do not. Some even open the door for increased understanding.

For example, far more profound than a new sense of “slap” is the use of plural pronouns “they” and “them” for individual people who prefer not to be identified by the gender-specific “he” or “she.”

This shift in usage received a shot in the arm recently. Merriam-Webster, the dictionary of choice for the Associated Press, announced it would include this sense of the word in its publications going forward.

In the past, I’ve opposed the use of “they” and “them,” to refer to one person, not because I was against the rights of anybody to identify as nonbinary, but because they can lead to confusion. If I’m told “they” will be waiting for me at the corner, I might expect more than one person, until I get there and see just one.

However, such instances would be rare, with most misunderstandings easily deciphered through context. And “they” has a long history of being used as a singular pronoun already, especially informally. When compared with the alternatives — ignoring the earnest entreaties of nonbinary people or introducing a new pronoun (“ze,” perhaps) for these specific situations — it’s preferable to go with “they.”

Plus, if I can accept and understand that a slapping appetizer is a compliment, then I can wrap my mind around “they” as a singular.

Because increased empathy slaps.

chris.schillig@yahoo.com


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