Everything old is ... well, still old

You know you’re getting old when most of your conversations about landmarks and destinations include the word “old.”


Like, when our cat got sick over the weekend and my wife and I had to take it to an emergency veterinarian a few cities over. The vet was located in the old Outback Steakhouse, next to the old Circuit City, just down the street from the old Best Buy.


Or last weekend, when we went to eat at A-Town Burgers and Brews, which I told friends is in the old Wally Armour budget lot, which is the old Waaa Daa Hot Dog Shoppe, which is the old Denny’s.


Speaking of Waaa Daa, which I looked up because I couldn’t remember if “Waaa” had two a’s or three — there is no limit to the lengths I will go to ensure this column is accurate, I tell ya — I was reminded that the plastic hot dog that once adorned the roof was moved out of storage in 2016 and taken to LeSage, West Virginia.


There, it has been put to good use, or maybe just use, at an establishment called Hillbilly Hotdogs. I have been told that this fine-dining emporium has been frequented by at least one prominent Alliance citizen in recent months, who traveled there by motorcycle only to learn that no matter how much you dress up a hot dog, it’s still just a hot dog.


By the way, in The Review blurb about the plastic weiner’s transfer, “Waaa Daa” was spelled “Waada,” so even at this late juncture, some controversy remains about the ill-fated shop. Or shoppe.


But, back to “old.”


If you’ve been around town, any town, long enough, lots of stuff can be described by what used to be there. Downtown Alliance is a good example. Various buildings there have been home to other ventures, sometimes two or three.


A church now resides in the former Sears building. A secondhand store now makes its home in the old Kidding’s Automotive store. And a flea market is in the old Grimm’s Furniture Store, which was the old Murphy’s, which was probably a few other old things before that, too.



This isn’t surprising. Businesses go where people are, and people are notoriously mobile. So when traffic patterns shift, businesses follow, leaving a lot of old in their wake. And most of that old is old-timers like me who remember where stuff used to be and find it easier to talk about ill-fated ventures that exist now only in our minds.


And into our minds are where businesses have been moving for the last 20 years or so, following a migration of consumers from physical buildings into cyberspace, where they shop from home and have it all delivered, or go no further than a business’s parking lot, where employees load it directly into the car.


Welcome to the era of Grubhub, Doordash, Walmart Grocery Pickup, and Amazon. No rubbing elbows with our neighbors. No serendipitous encounters in aisle seven. Just our own homemade bubbles to contain our homemade realities.


It’s enough to make a body feel ... well, old.


But that’s pretty heavy stuff. To recap the lighter messages, then:


Hot dogs are just hot dogs, even when handcrafted by hillbillies.


Waaa Daa — three a’s, then two.



A-Town Burgers and Brews — worth a visit.


And the cat’s just fine. Thanks for asking.


chris.schillig@yahoo.com


@cschillig on Twitter